


But Why?

by kokichirin



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Breaking Up & Making Up, M/M, i guess these are the right tags??, idk i havent done angst before, no beta we die like men, sorry in advance if its rushed/messy ;A;, tagging kaito cause hes there for like a hot second fjgndfg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-04
Updated: 2017-12-04
Packaged: 2019-02-10 11:10:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12910680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kokichirin/pseuds/kokichirin
Summary: “W-what..?” Saihara stared at the other in utter disbelief, his heart falling into his feet.“Jeez, Saihara you need to clean out your ears.” Ouma stated simply. “I said I wanna break up.”-----------------everyone constantly questions their relationshipouma begins to do the same





	But Why?

**Author's Note:**

> hewwo i dont know how to angst  
> well considering i have other works in mind this is probably a good warmup??? idk  
> ANYWAYS i usually see in other fics people questioning saihara and oumas relationship and.... thats it  
> it always had me thinking about how it affects them both and since i havent seen it explored outside of a simple 'but why its /ouma/' yet i decided to give it a shot myself!  
> (btw jsyk if youre reading this and youre one of those people dont take this wrong youre all so very amazing and an inspiration honestly! <333)

Ouma knew he wasn’t exactly the most pleasant person to be around. That was something he was ok with. With the carefully crafted mask of lies he wears, slowly fusing, etching pieces into his very core, it was a perfect defense; no one could get to him so easily. No one could get close enough to hurt. It was like an iron wall, keeping his heart safe. That said, there were small slivers of exposed emotions. Small enough that you’d need a magnifying glass to see them, to get to them. Small enough that Ouma didn’t think too much about it. People considered him an annoyance at best, so no one would try to get through those cracks.

That all changed when he met a certain detective.

Shuichi Saihara was a mystery, despite being so simple at first glance. He wasn’t good with people, he’d break out into cold sweats when spoken too, maybe hide behind his hat. He seemed as unreliable as he seemed unremarkable, so Ouma payed him no mind.

But one faithful day, their paths formally crossed. Saihara was talking to him about his organization, how it made no sense it was so large yet so unheard of. Ouma decided to make a game of it, keeping him on his toes with lies and truths about his organization, blurring the lines. He knew he made the detective exhausted, and he expected him to just drop it and his company altogether. To the supreme leader’s surprise, he didn’t. He kept trying to understand more and more about Ouma. Even when he threatened to take his life. Even when he got his finger cut, causing the raven haired boy to panic. Even when he found himself staring at the bandage covering the wound, giggling and teasing about how he stole the detective’s heart.

At that moment, Saihara had found the hidden cracks and slipped his way inside. And many moments later, they found a starry-like bliss in each other. The cracks had widened just a smidge. Nothing too important, Ouma felt. The world, on the other hand, had a different say in the matter.

It was made known fairly later on that they were together, happy and peaceful. It was at this moment, Ouma noticed something. There was a mix of responses. Some were positive, congratulating the relationship. However, only Saihara got that luxury. They would talk about how they were happy he found someone who made _him_ happy. Ouma, on the other hand, got the negatives, even if it was only side comments.

_“Like, I’m happy for you and all but… this is **Ouma** we’re talking about here!”_

_“Why **him** of all people? You must be out of your mind thinking he actually likes you back.”_

The pair would usually brush it off, Saihara reaffirming he’s fully aware and that he doesn’t mind. Ouma would use the chance to boast about how he’s the absolute best choice. A boast full of lies.

Those words found its way into Ouma’s heart, forcing the cracks open, causing it to bleed. They watered the seeds of self-loathing that were already planted. They’d play on repeat in the back of his head. The seeds grew into flowers.

* * *

 

“W-what..?” Saihara stared at the other in utter disbelief, his heart falling into his feet.

“Jeez, Saihara you need to clean out your ears.” Ouma stated simply. “I _said_ I wanna break up.”

“No--! No, I… I heard you..” Saihara let out a shaky sigh, trying in vain to keep himself composed. He could feel his fallen heart tear itself into tiny shreds, a punch to the gut. “I just…” the detective fell silent as he kept his gaze towards his feet. “I… I understand. I’m sorry if I caused you any trouble..” he muttered. _‘Don’t do that.’_ Ouma thought to himself. He already didn’t want to do this, and his no-longer beloved’s reactions are making it worse. But of course, he had to respond in typical Ouma-fashion.

“Yeah, you were causing a lot of trouble, making me swoon for you like that! How insensitive can you get?” It’s a lie. He’s lying to Saihara. He’s lying to himself. It’s the only thing he was good at. Another thing he was good at, was running away from emotionally charged situations. Such as now.

The further he ran, he tighter his chest felt, the image of Saihara’s heartbroken face etched into his mind. He was the cause of that pain, and he hated himself for it. He wouldn’t be surprised if Saihara hated him too.

The aftermath was messier than the the moment that set it off. To each other’s obliviousness, both sides were an absolute mess. Equally avoidant of each other and their peers. One hide it better than the other. One had others reaching out to him, the other did not.

 

* * *

 

Saihara stared at the ceiling of his room blankly. He wanted to cry, but he was all out of tears. He was racking his head, wondering what the hell he did wrong. Did he smother him? Was he holding him back? Did he not pay enough attention to him? What did he _do_? His body felt like lead, weighing down the bed. He absent mindedly wondered if it’d break under the weight like he did.

A knock at the door. It felt like an eternity before Saihara dragged himself out of bed and opened the door, keeping his eyes trained to the ground, his face obscured by the worn-down hat he’d always wear. He already knew who it was.

“Hey, Shuichi! You doing alright?” His friend, Kaito Momota. Saihara gave a ‘mh.’ In response. “Alright, bad question.” Kaito scratched the back of his head. “But I am pretty worried about you. You haven’t exactly left your room for a while. Have you even been eating?” Barely.

“Mhm. Toujou-san’s brought me food.” Saihara murmured quietly. “Could you leave me alone, please..? I’ll be fine.”

“Shuichi, you’ve been in here for a week. That doesn’t sound fine.” The astronaut frowned. “I get that you’re dealing with a break up, but sitting in here to mope’s not gonna help!”

Saihara stayed silent, eyes still glued downwards. Kaito huffed before patting his shoulder.

“Look, I’m sorry about what happened, but what did you expect? It’s _Ouma_ we’re talking about here,” Saihara tensed under the other’s grip. “He was probably stringing you along the whole time, the little asshole…” he grumbled. The detective bit his lip. Ouma wouldn’t do something so cruel… Would he? He had to admit, the small leader could be a bit of a handful, always doing and saying things to get a rise out of others. Call it his intuition, but the tender moments they shared felt… different. After a bit, Saihara finally spoke up properly.

“Uhm, Momota-kun? Would you mind giving me more time to myself…?” he asked. “I’ll talk to you and the others when I feel ready.”

“Oh. Alright then!” Kaito gave a small smile as he let go of the detective’s shoulder. “Just.. Feel better soon, alright?” With that, the astronaut took his leave. Saihara closed the door before walking back to sit on his bed, deep in thought.

* * *

 

It took a long time, but Saihara finally cornered Ouma. The more he thought about it, the more questions he had. He had to be sure.

“Ugh, I already told you, Saihara-chan, _it’s over._ ” Ouma narrowed his eyes. “What part of that don’t you understand?” Saihara’s chest ached, but he pressed on.

“I know, and I understand that but.. At the very least, I need to ask; _why?_ You seemed so happy, the happiest I’ve seen you. What prompted the change of heart?”

“Nishishi, I didn’t have a change of heart! I was playing you for a fool!” Ouma gave a grin. Saihara searched his face.

“Ouma—“

“Now you got your answer, so if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go bother Keeboy!“

“Ouma—“

“You don’t have to keep persisting anymore, go find someone else to bother—“

“ _Kokichi._ ” Ouma froze, giving Saihara a chance to finish. “Stop lying. I know that’s not why you did… this.”

“Oh? What do you think the reason is then?” Ouma grinned. Saihara took a deep breath before speaking.

“Momota-kun came by my room today, and what he said got me thinking… It’s because of you, wasn’t it? Because of everyone constantly questioning us why I _loved_ you. That they felt you’re incapable of showing love or even deserving of it. Is that why?”

Ouma stared, his face void of any emotion. Why. Why, oh _why_ did he let himself get attached to a detective of all people? His lips curled up once more, this time into a small, thin smile.

“That’s quite a lot of assumptions, Mr. Detective!” he giggled. Saihara knew that laugh personally. That meant he was on the mark. His body moved on his own, and they both found themselves in a one sided embrace. Saihara held him tightly, as if he loosened his grip, the small leader would evaporate, never to be seen again. The air around them was quiet and tense. It was suffocating.

“I’m not assuming. I know you, Kokichi.” He murmured quietly, as if speaking any louder would destroy the moment. “I know what they said bothers you, you’re still human after all.” Ouma knows. He wish he wasn’t. He kinda wished he was a plant instead. Saihara continued.

“I… I didn’t think twice about what they said because it didn’t matter to me. I knew what I was doing when I asked you out. Because I actually took the time to get to know you instead of simply writing you off as a bad person. Everything you had to offer, even afterwards, had me interested. _I love you, Kokichi._ ” There was no turning back now. “And… and I always will. But, if… if you still wanna stay as exes,” the word burned in his tongue like acid. “Then I’m ok with it, if it makes you happy.” The silence that fell afterwards was deafening. Saihara could feel his heart pound in his ears.

After what seemed like forever, someone moved. A heavy shudder.

“You really are something, y’know that?” Ouma muttered. Saihara couldn’t help but smile as he looked down at the boy. The two finally maintained eye contact. The flowers in Ouma’s heart wilted. They weren’t completely gone, but it was a start.

“What were you thinking, falling in love with a supreme leader of evil?” He could let him try.

“I was thinking clearly.” He could let him slip through the cracks again.

“Nevermind what I said before! You’re a total idiot, Shuichi!” He could completely get rid of those _weeds_.

“If this makes me an idiot, consider me a goddamn fool.” He could trust him with his fragile, cracked heart.

Saihara gently brushed Ouma’s bangs out of his face, clearing any tears that fell before the leader responded, standing on his toes to catch him in a gentle kiss. Once they pulled away, Saihara bit his lip, letting their foreheads touch.

“So does this mean we’re back together?” he asked softly.

“Yep, yep!” Ouma grinned brightly. The first in a long while. “Don’t let me do something that stupid again, Shuichi! The past few days have been _hell._ ” Saihara gave a relieved smile before placing a gentle kiss on his cheek.

“I won’t, Kokichi. I promise.”

**Author's Note:**

> internal scr ea m ing i hope this is ok fngdjdfg


End file.
